Food for Thought: The Performance

Cuffing season is upon us, and I’m prepared. In this month’s AMP food review, we’ll be taking our tote bags and our baggiest pants to some local establishments to acquire the grassiest of matcha — and also, perhaps, the huzz. 

La La Land Kind Cafe

La La Land Kind Cafe was the first stop on my performative male food tour. Their banaVIna yellow ‘50s-themed cups are a fairly common sight on campus, so I was excited to finally give them a shot. My friend and I ordered the Matcha Latte ($5.20), the Upside Down Espresso Latte ($6), and the La La Classic Avocado Toast ($9.20). The lattes came in these adorable little cups that I felt compelled to take pictures of, and they tasted pretty darn good to boot. The Upside Down latte was really sweet in a way that I found enjoyable, and the matcha latte was about as grassy as one would hope for (compliment). Then came the star of the show: the avocado toast. $9.20 for avocado toast is pretty insane, but god did they deliver. The thing was LOADED with avocado and was well-seasoned, resulting in something that I can say was definitely worth the price (ignoring the hole it left in my pocket). My only issue with the cafe was that it was take-out only, limiting my friend and I’s combined rizz potential.

Food: 9/10
Vibe: 5/10
Price: $6-9

Junbi Matcha & Tea

Armed with my Labubu and our Fiona Apple vinyl, my homie and I braved the front door to Junbi Matcha & Tea. The interior of the place was pretty solid, reminiscent of pretty much every boba place in the Richardson/Plano area. We ordered a Matcha Affogato ($6.50) and a Cold Taro Vanilla Matcha Latte ($9.10). The affogato was pretty good; the vanilla of the ice cream paired pleasantly with the matcha. The latte, however, just kinda tasted like vanilla slop, with not even a hint of taro present in the flavor profile. It wasn’t bad, just disappointing. I looked up and sighed. All of this matcha, yet still no huzz. At least my homie was here. In the words of my favorite author and feminist icon Simone de Beauvoir, “One’s life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion.” I looked deep into my homie’s eyes. They sparkled in such a beautiful way, like a million different galaxies shining down on me. Maybe I don’t need the huzz after all.

Food: 7/10
Vibe: 7/10
Price: $6-7