If you grew up in America, you must have a good grasp of what Christianity looks like, and you may have someone summarize the Bible. Back in the good ol’ days — when only white men spoke — everyone knew the Bible as a guideline for conservatism. However, now we have a lot of lying liberals spouting their silly ideas of what the Bible is saying. Liberal commies are pushing a narrative that Jesus would’ve loved their ideas about free healthcare, asylum for refugees, and other radical socialist policies. But I promise on the land of the free itself, that the Bible is not socialist. Let’s get into some of the reasons why.

Help the poor continue being poor

One thing liberals love to do is talk about “helping” poor people. But what their small brains don’t understand is that God intended for poor people to be poor. In Proverbs 31:9, the Bible says “defend the rights of the poor and needy.” Leftists will try to convince you that this verse is encouraging people to protect the rights of the poor and needy and help them out of poverty. However, what God is actually saying here is to defend the rights for the poor and needy to continue being poor and needy! Where would white, Christian missionary teenagers go for their Instagram photoshoots if they couldn’t go to an impoverished neighborhood? In order to have balance, it’s required by God for poor people to continue being poor. That way, rich people can occasionally hand out coloring books and toothbrushes on major holidays. The solution is not nationalized free healthcare, or raising minimum wage, or solving homelessness. The only solutions we should use are the ones that do nothing to solve problems long-term, but continue to make us rich people feel good.  

Capitalism is the way of the truth and the life

Socialists in America are trying to take away our God-given right to Make a Bunch of Money. Making a Bunch of Money is a core American value, which means it’s a Biblical value. In fact, God says himself that being super-rich is super hard, meaning He respects it. In Matthew 19:24 it’s said, “again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.” Rich people have such a difficult time carrying the burden of being so unbelievably wealthy. And God obviously sees the difficulty they go through, comparing their struggle to a camel going through the eye of a needle. This “redistribution of wealth” idea that socialists have is downright against God’s will. Why would God want rich people to share their wealth with poor people? 

Love thy neighbor 

In Galatians 5:14, the Bible says to love your neighbor as you love yourself. Personally, there are no homeless or low-income people in my neighborhood so that means God never expected me to love them. All the people in my upper-class subdivision make 500k a year and I love them! See, God just wants us to care about those who are within close proximity to us, He doesn’t require us to empathize with the entire world or He would’ve said so. But let’s consider for a second that God was talking about loving the entire world. The Bible says to love your neighbor as you love yourself. God must’ve known that eventually, humanity would grow a deep hatred for ourselves so loving your neighbor as you love yourself is actually hating your neighbor as you hate yourself. These are the teachings that Ddemocrats try to hide from the world. 
True Christians obviously can’t have leftist beliefs and values because it clearly goes against God’s will to redistribute wealth and help the needy. No matter how hard it gets, always make sure to defend your right to hoard all your money and deny asylum to civilians escaping war in third-world countries. It’s what God wants! And if you start feeling guilty at any point, suppress those emotions resembling empathy and instead replace them with the mindset of a middle-aged white man who just watched an episode of the Daily Wire by Ben Shapiro. In fact, whenever you start to feel empathy for others, you should immediately put on a podcast by a right-wing commentator to get you away from thinking of others and instead on the right path to how you can exploit others. When you really think about it, exploiting others is hard work, and having a good work ethic is the most important thing anyone can have. I hope you’ve learned something beneficial today and always remember: reject empathy and embrace exploitation — it’s in the Bible.