Hello all my fellow Snyder superfans! This is part 15,892 of “writing a blog post every day until Warner Bros. restores the Snyderverse.” For those who are new here and don’t know what I’m doing, the premise is simple: I will write a blog post every day until Warner Bros. do the right and correct thing and restore the Snyderverse. And for those who don’t know what the Snyderverse is…
Get out. Now.
LOL, just kidding! But seriously, don’t ask me any more dumb questions.
Anyways, the Snyderverse is a collection of superhero films centered around DC Comics characters like Superman and Batman, created by the one and only Zack Snyder (also affectionately known as Zaddy), one of THE BEST filmmakers of our time! Snyder’s Superman films and his take on “Justice League” in particular are very good, defining the TRUE DC Extended Universe!
WHAT A MAN OF STEEL REALLY LOOKS LIKE.
Today’s subject will be how COOL and AWESOME Zack Snyder’s Superman is! Now, before anyone says anything stupid like “But Supersnyderman1938, you already talked about this topic in 15,891 other blog posts!” Ummm, actually, you’re wrong. I talked about why Batman should kill more and why this makes Snyder’s version great, at least once, I think… but besides that, you can never talk about peak too much! That never dilutes its value as media or makes it monotonous and boring!
I have so many new things to talk about and counterpoints to provide to all the weird internet liberals who think Cavill’s Superman is “edgy” and “boring!” You see, by not reacting to anything that’s happening around him or really talking much at all, Cavill’s Superman is emanating the most AURA a version of Superman has ever emanated. Who needs “character development” and “kindness” when you have hype moments, aura, and slo-mo action shots! I mean, what’s all that even for? Why have a lame, useless Boy Scout that saves everyone when you can have a far more interesting and realistic rendition of Superman that is cynical and brooding, just like he’d be in the real world!
After all, doesn’t realism make a movie so much better? What’s even cooler is when Superman has nothing to say, politically or otherwise! After all, I came to see SuperPEAK punching bad guys and causing apocalyptic levels of destruction in the city he swore to protect. I don’t wanna see a movie that discusses real world politics I don’t support!
But see, those are the things that make Snyder’s Superman AWESOME! These crucial aspects cannot be ignored… because if they are, then you get….
THE GUNN JAMMED! SUPERMAN (2025) SUCKS!
THEN YOU GET JAMES GUNN’S SUPERMAN! Truly the pinnacle of all this woke Gen Z nonsense! Why do we have to have Superman SAVING people? That’s lame! That’s what firemen and the rescue workers are for. I don’t get why anyone would want to see superheroes saving people! If I wanted to see that, I’d just go wait outside my local 7/11 to watch the cops break up a fight. And what’s worse is all these POLITICS! Why are there politics in my capeshit movie! I came here to watch Superman cause more destruction than a high-level terrorist attack. I don’t understand why we need an Israel/Palestine allegory in this movie. Especially when that allegory is supporting the Palestinian terrorists that have no right to defend their homeland! At least when Snyder’s Superman did it, he was killing the RIGHT terrorists, instead of fighting an Israeli government stand-in! After all, the Israeli government has never done ANYTHING wrong!
But on that note, the other day someone told me that Superman was supposed to be based on a Jewish myth, and that he was created by immigrants??? HAH, as if! Superman is THE American superhero! His motto is “Truth, justice, and the American way!” The only place Superman belongs is in America, fighting in our cities and causing unfathomable destruction by blowing through skyscrapers left and right. I mean, yeah, the damage of the event is probably on scale with like five 9/11s, but it looks cool so who cares! All in all, I think that version of Superman is a perfect representation of our amazing nation!
But even worse than all of the political nonsense, even worse than all of the useless and FAKE political rhetoric, is this incessant need to make Superman… kind? Why does he have to be so nice? I mean, why would he go out of his way to save a squirrel? Squirrels are rodents! I miss when Superman would stand in exploding courtrooms and react with the most monotone expression imaginable. He used to be so cool and auraful, and he’d beat people to death with his bare hands. My hero.
WHAT EVEN IS SUPER, MAN?
And now… here I am. At the precipice, before the end of it all…. After all of these years watching Snyderverse content, what do I have to show for my time? What has become of it these days? Hopelessly awaiting a “Justice League” sequel that will never come? Desperately begging the gods to make “Superman” (2025) fail at the box office so that Warner Bros. HAS to come back and give us another shot?
And what of Zack Snyder himself, moving on to his own original movie franchise? Why should I accept that when I need him to direct another Justice League movie? Why does he get to move on when I don’t?!!
…Why can’t I move on? What’s stopping me, actually?
No, no I can’t stop, I’ve sunk too much into this… if I quit now what will they all say? My friends, my ex-wife, my kids… everyone who left me behind would be right all along… so I can’t quit now! And besides, I’ve got so much to show for my time, including a community of fellow sigmas that will ensure the continuation of the Snyderverse… one way or another.
P.S.: Warner Bros., I know you’re reading this, so give us the “Suicide Squad” (2016) Ayer cut so that I can see the “soulful comedy” that David Ayer promised us alongside 12 minutes of uncut footage of Margot Robbie’s feet.
