AMP
The Official Student Opinion and Satire Magazine of UTD
Opinion
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Whooshing Red: America After the Rain
So much relies on a pint of Austin Eastciders and a pack of American Spirit menthols on an election night. The people the next table over analyzed at each other, talking about how long a certain area on a certain map would stay a certain color. I knew I shouldn’t have been there, but our […]
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Red, Blue, Green, and the Case For Better
There’s a lot on the line in this election. With the looming threat of climate change and ecological collapse, it is imperative that politicians seek bold action and strong solutions. But are those solutions being offered? Let’s look at the candidates’ histories and proposals for the environment. For the purpose of this article, we will […]
Opinion
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Satire
Ken Paxton: A Man of the People
On October 3rd, the Austin-American Statesman and KVUE-TV got ahold of a letter written by seven of Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton’s top aides alleging that Paxton was “violating federal and/or state law” by supposedly abusing his office and accepting bribes. This isn’t the first political hit job Paxton has been the victim of. For […]
Opinion
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Why So Serious? A Look at 20 Years of Batman Movies
The Batman (2021), starring Robert Pattinson, is supposed to show us a version of Bruce Wayne onscreen that we haven’t seen in a long time. Set in his second year of crime fighting, between his dramatic origin story and being a fully-established vigilante, the film is set to be more of a detective story than […]
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Satire
The C.R.A.P. Manifesto
In the midst of 2020’s contentious and tumultuous political cycle, a new right-wing sect has recently gained public notoriety with their aggressive stance against all forms of genital concealment. Known as the Concerned Republicans Against Predators (CRAP), these activists have argued for banning all lower-body garments including pants, underwear, and jorts. Spurred on by a […]
Opinion
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Whooshing Red: Beyond the Ballot Box
Voting is a ritual. You walk into the polling place, take your seemingly-incomprehensible sheet of bubbles and numbers, slide it into the machine that makes sense of the chaos, and that’s the climax of two to four years of repressed political frustration. Voting is a ritual, and American society is intent on ritualizing it more. […]
Opinion
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Dungeons & Diversity: How Racism Permeates the Fantasy Genre
In a turn of events that I cannot imagine Gary Gygax ever saw coming, Dungeons & Dragons, or D&D, has managed to take the world by storm once more in a sort of nerdy renaissance. First introduced in 1974, D&D has recently grown in popularity through the help of web series like Critical Role and […]
Satire
Pledge of Allegiance
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United COVID of America, and to the racists for which they stand above everyone else, one corrupt and capitalist nation, somewhat under God?, very divided, with no liberty or justice for all white men. Wait—sorry, was that not the pledge we repeated in school every morning for […]
Opinion
For the Love of Code
Have you ever looked at a programming job’s requirement list, eager and ready to apply? As your eyes scroll through the bullet-pointed list, you think: ‘Yes, I have this skill,’ and ‘Oh for sure, I know how to do that,’ but then the dagger in the heart comes as you read the last few lines. […]
Satire
A Foolproof Revival of College Sports, Mid-Pandemic
The American people need their collegiate athletics back – and with this ingenious, one-step plan, they’ll get them. On July 30th, 2020, the Utah Jazz took to the homecourt floor of the New Orleans Pelicans, resuming an NBA season that had seen four and a half months without a single game. Only, it wasn’t anybody’s […]
Opinion
Gender Identity Before White Europeans Colonized the World
When people think of commentary about the binary idea of gender expression, people tend to look towards Twitter threads that discuss how strongly it is enforced in today’s society or how its existence has been eternal. While more and more discussion arises, be it in Twitter threads or in a more scholarly context, it is […]
Satire
Reject Modernity, Embrace Tradition
“Aw, look at him tremble! He’s gonna pop a blood vessel ‘cause I dissed his waifu!” Yeah, yeah, yuk it up, you spiteful clowns. 2D girls this, 3D girls that, Junko Enoshima this, yaoi hands that. All the while, it’s still uncool to have a big-tittied anime “gf” in the 2020s, unless you’re some kind […]