AMP
The Official Student Opinion and Satire Magazine of UTD

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May 2023 Horoscopes
Aries: Exact cold, brutal revenge on your worst enemies this month. As a treat! Taurus: Sometimes it’s okay to ritualistically sacrifice a Virgo. Gemini: You’re going to spend too much time thinking about the many instances in which Bugs Bunny wears drag. Cancer: Stop waiting around for life to send something your way! I mean, […]

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April 2023 Horoscopes
Aries: The stars have gifted you with newfound financial expertise! Invest everything in crypto. Taurus: Someone you now’s got it out for you, which is why your stint with the local mob boss is finally going to pay off. Gemini: Yuo’re gniog too fsat. I’m miakng you solw down. Tkae a deep baerth…There. Isn’t that […]

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Ratford
Ratford Recommends
Should I drop out? It depends on what you’re referring to. Dropping out of college? I probably wouldn’t recommend it. Dropping out of my personal Stuart Little 2-esque biplane? For the love of God, why else did you book this skydiving trip with me? I have other appointments to get to, you know. Do you […]

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Horoscopes: December 2022
Aries: The end of the year is a good time to step back and seriously evaluate your life. What do you want to hold onto, and what do you need to let go of? HINT: YOU NEED TO LET GO. Taurus: You shouldn’t bottle up your feelings just to avoid inconveniencing others. Sometimes the best […]

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Local Eats
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UTD Eats: Mexican Food
Nuno’s Tacos and Vegmex Grill Nuno’s Tacos and Vegmex Grill is a ten-minute drive from campus. Since opening in 2019, business has expanded enough that the kitchen has taken over most of the dining area and there are just two tables left – so make a reservation if you want to dine in! As the […]

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Satire
AMP’s Sixth Annual Naughty or Nice List
Naughty: Wife Guys Ned Fulmer, John Mulaney, Adam Levine… Just goes to show that you can’t trust a guy who makes ‘loving his wife’ his entire brand. If you love your wife so much, why are you using her for profit? Tech Billionaires This spot was almost awarded to Elon (again) for his crimes against […]

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November 2022 Horoscopes
Aries: Keep the sunk-cost fallacy in mind this month. Just because you’ve devoted a lot of time and energy to something, doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to let it go. Taurus: After five long months, Saturn is finally out of retrograde! You’re free! Use this time to take a well-needed rest. The worst is already […]

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UTD Eats: Vegetarian
Kalachandji’s Looking to expand the horizons of your taste buds? Then walk yourself to the SU and place an order at Kalachandji’s. This new addition to the Dining Hall prides itself on its plant-based Indian cuisine and offers dishes to try from all over the country. The popular choice at Kalachandji’s is the create-your-own style […]

DJ Showcase
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DJ Showcase: “Good Morning Everybody”
Sarina “Shiloh” Mohanlal is the host of “Good Morning Everybody,” a “weekly dose of aimless conversation” that airs from 10-11 a.m. on Wednesday mornings. Sarina’s sharp humor and high-energy personality make her a great conversationalist and a fantastic talk show host. But when Sarina sat down to chat with me, she brought a friend with […]

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September Horoscopes: Virgo
Aries: You’re naturally drawn towards leadership positions. Good for you! But know your place. If you’re a minimum wage fast-food worker, don’t try bossing anyone around just yet. Taurus: There are over 40 water bottle refill stations on campus. USE THEM. Gemini: Mars is in Gemini, and you know what that means — it’s time […]

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Food for Thought: Thai
Banana Leaf Thai Cuisine (recommended by @azeeem.f on Instagram) If you ever need a homey, laid-back space where you can eat your weight in spicy curry, Banana Leaf Thai Cuisine is the place for you. Located about 13 minutes from campus, this restaurant offers a variety of options, from rice to soups to noodles and […]

DJ Showcase
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DJ Showcase: Flying Colors EDM Showcase
Every week on Flying Colors EDM Showcase, Computer Science senior Jonathan Wu takes listeners on a three-hour flight across international soundwaves. Inspired by podcasts like Monstercat’s Call of the Wild, the show is packed with musical genres named things like ‘psytrance’ and ‘acid house.’ “We go through take off and landing just like a normal […]