AMP
The Official Student Opinion and Satire Magazine of UTD
Satire
Once You Go Greek, You Don’t Go Back
‘Sup fellow Bromets, the name’s Chaz Hollister, president of Delta Sigma Chi-Square Alpha, the raddest party frat on campus. Now, it’s already October, but I’m still hearing freshies at the Plinth complain that UTD’s social life is dead. And this saddens me dudes, my dad didn’t buy three new buildings and get rid of Green […]
Print Issues
The Comics
Temoc’s Mojo Dojo Casa House
September 2023 back cover
Satire
Web Exclusives
Top Ten Romantic Spots on Campus
In May, flowers bloom and rivers flow. The songbirds chirp away, and petals drift on the wind as the doe have their fawns and the sunsets paint the skies. An inherent romanticism permeates through the air – and I put it there, so that all of you at UTD would read my sweet new list […]
Print Issues
Satire
So You Don’t Want To Live On The Street
Welcome back to “So You Don’t Want To Live On The Street: UT Dallas,” the only game show where you pay us! I’m your host, Utena T. Daniels. Tonight, the stakes are high and the rent is even higher. Will our contestants secure a place on the UTD campus, or will they hang their heads […]
Print Issues
The Comics
“In the daytime, I’m Temoc, but I have a secret…”
Print Issues
Satire
Totally Tubular PRANKZ For AMPril Fools!!!
What IS up, my fellow Comet-brahs! Welcome to my all-new, radical prank showcase: TOTALLY TUBULAR COMET PRANKZ!! And my oh my, isn’t this just the absolute BEST season of the year for some EPIC pranks! That’s right, it’s APRIL FOOLS! A time where each and every one of us Comets can go absolutely wild with […]
Print Issues
Satire
End Tobor Abuse Now
Whether it be through rain, sleet, snow, or hail, Tobors are always there for us during times of hunger and starvation. They are dedicated to a thankless job that gives them no pay — and yet no one seems to acknowledge the mistreatment of these brave Tobors from the students, staff, and the layout of […]
Features
Print Issues
Ratford
Relaxation with Ratford
Hello! Ratford here to offer more advice! Nico, uhh, collected me to help you all. I’m definitely here willingly! How do you find a lyapunov function without dying? I dunno. I’m just a rat. You can probably find it in the lost and found or something. What do I do if my own thoughts won’t […]
Print Issues
The Comics
Anatomy of a Tobor
Featured
Features
Print Issues
Ratford
Satire
Romance with Ratford
Students ask the esteemed love expert, Ratford the Rat, for advice regarding their wooing woes. Q: Would you rather date Temoc, Enarc, or Tobor? A: Bold of you to assume that any of our beloved mascots/idols aren’t hitched already. Q: What makes you feel the most loved? A: Q: How do we rizz? A: Either […]
Print Issues
The Tragedy of Berkner Hall Basement: The Comet Lore Competition Winner
If you are reading this, I NEED YOUR HELP. During Thanksgiving Break, my best friend Damian and I decided to check out the Berkner Hall basement from that r/utdallas subreddit post, and what we found will astonish you. We followed the instructions left by explorers of the past and picked the lock on the grate […]
Print Issues
The Comics
Holiday Special: Tobor’s Wish