AMP
The Official Student Opinion and Satire Magazine of UTD
Print Issues
Satire
So You Don’t Want To Live On The Street
Welcome back to “So You Don’t Want To Live On The Street: UT Dallas,” the only game show where you pay us! I’m your host, Utena T. Daniels. Tonight, the stakes are high and the rent is even higher. Will our contestants secure a place on the UTD campus, or will they hang their heads […]
Print Issues
The Comics
“In the daytime, I’m Temoc, but I have a secret…”
Print Issues
Satire
Totally Tubular PRANKZ For AMPril Fools!!!
What IS up, my fellow Comet-brahs! Welcome to my all-new, radical prank showcase: TOTALLY TUBULAR COMET PRANKZ!! And my oh my, isn’t this just the absolute BEST season of the year for some EPIC pranks! That’s right, it’s APRIL FOOLS! A time where each and every one of us Comets can go absolutely wild with […]
Print Issues
Satire
End Tobor Abuse Now
Whether it be through rain, sleet, snow, or hail, Tobors are always there for us during times of hunger and starvation. They are dedicated to a thankless job that gives them no pay — and yet no one seems to acknowledge the mistreatment of these brave Tobors from the students, staff, and the layout of […]
Features
Print Issues
Ratford
Relaxation with Ratford
Hello! Ratford here to offer more advice! Nico, uhh, collected me to help you all. I’m definitely here willingly! How do you find a lyapunov function without dying? I dunno. I’m just a rat. You can probably find it in the lost and found or something. What do I do if my own thoughts won’t […]
Print Issues
The Comics
Anatomy of a Tobor
Featured
Features
Print Issues
Ratford
Satire
Romance with Ratford
Students ask the esteemed love expert, Ratford the Rat, for advice regarding their wooing woes. Q: Would you rather date Temoc, Enarc, or Tobor? A: Bold of you to assume that any of our beloved mascots/idols aren’t hitched already. Q: What makes you feel the most loved? A: Q: How do we rizz? A: Either […]
Print Issues
The Tragedy of Berkner Hall Basement: The Comet Lore Competition Winner
If you are reading this, I NEED YOUR HELP. During Thanksgiving Break, my best friend Damian and I decided to check out the Berkner Hall basement from that r/utdallas subreddit post, and what we found will astonish you. We followed the instructions left by explorers of the past and picked the lock on the grate […]
Print Issues
The Comics
Holiday Special: Tobor’s Wish
Features
Print Issues
Satire
AMP’s Sixth Annual Naughty or Nice List
Naughty: Wife Guys Ned Fulmer, John Mulaney, Adam Levine… Just goes to show that you can’t trust a guy who makes ‘loving his wife’ his entire brand. If you love your wife so much, why are you using her for profit? Tech Billionaires This spot was almost awarded to Elon (again) for his crimes against […]
Print Issues
The Comics
What Temoc is getting you for Christmas?
Literature Majors: an answer for what you’ll do with that degree Visual & Performing Arts Majors: a driver’s license ATEC Majors: a Ram Anime Body Pillow Any BBS Major: actual therapy so you don’t have to go to class for it Economic Majors: a new pair of suspenders and glasses Political Science Majors: a winning […]
Print Issues
Satire
Enarcmas
It’s December, Comets! Everyone knows what that means! The weather might get more frightful each day, but it takes more than that to beat down the holliest, jolliest time of year. Bust out your most festive decorations and attire and follow me in merry measure, because it’s finally…Enarcmastime! Yes, Enarcmas! As a wondrous celebration of […]