Salutations, Comets! It appears I’ve been appointed to the helm after the unfortunate departure of our former EIC and resident witchy lesbian, Sasha. In the wake of her ascension, we’ve decided to fill her shoes with a slightly shorter and far more off-putting lesbian to save on costs. Rest assured, I’ll do my best to honor the publication that you’ve come to know and love — or hate, depending on your reasons for reading. This magazine has been an important part of my life for nearly four years at this point, and that won’t change anytime soon. The only difference is that now I have university-sanctioned power to be even more annoying than before, so, uh… sorry about that. (Psst, if you enjoy listening to people exercising their right to be annoying, you should tune into A Modest Podcast on Radio UTD every Thursday night from 8 p.m. to 10 p.m.)
In other news, the 2026 Winter Olympics recently wrapped up, and this year’s games were rife with controversy. Canada’s fall from grace within the curling community has been particularly interesting, made funnier by the fact that Sweden apparently set up a special camera just to catch one guy cheating. Marc Kennedy, listen, man, I’m sorry you got in trouble for booping the stone a second time, but complaining about Sweden’s plan to catch you in the act doesn’t mean you weren’t caught in the act. This may result in tactical Swedish cameras being deployed for all winter sporting events going forward; I suppose we’ll just have to see.
And, of course, I’m sure many of us have noticed Nicki Minaj’s quick, enthusiastic descent into the pot of fascist slop that is our current administration. There’s something so surreal about witnessing her immediate decuntification once she started doing press for Trump, but I suppose that’s what happens when all the queer people on your style team suddenly, inexplicably want nothing to do with you. Oh well, their loss. I, for one, am glad that we’ve met Nicki at this very orange time in her life. The outside finally matches the inside — bitter and desperately clinging to power, no matter how much bronzer it’s caked in.
That said, a lot of folks feel overwhelmed right now, us included. Everything happens so much, and we’re already approaching spring break despite the fact that it feels like we returned to campus only a couple of weeks ago. So, I’d like to take a moment to focus on perspective. Remember that everything — the highest highs, lowest lows, and everything in between — is temporary, and that this too shall pass. For now, though, you’re here, you’re alive, and despite how it seems, it’s gonna be okay. Happy March, Comets. Keep on whooshing.
