In May, flowers bloom and rivers flow. The songbirds chirp away, and petals drift on the wind as the doe have their fawns and the sunsets paint the skies. An inherent romanticism permeates through the air – and I put it there, so that all of you at UTD would read my sweet new list of the TOP 10 MOST ROMANTIC SPOTS ON CAMPUS!!!
As the self-appointed love expert at AMP, it’s my job to make sure you losers don’t screw yourselves over in the romance department. One of the key elements of a good romance is going to romantic places, because I said so. As such, I’ve meticulously engineered the ultimate list of spots to keep your love lives strong, and it’s foolproof! Go to these places with your college sweetheart, and when you’re old, gray, and happily married to the love of your life, you’ll know who to thank.
10. Reflecting Pools
Where better to start the list than the iconic UTD reflecting pools? With beautiful magnolia trees, limestone slabs to lie down on, and water that’s only sometimes green, the reflecting pools have all the perfect scenery to keep you and your partner from thinking about each other’s most annoying qualities.
9. ECS North/South
Take your significant figure to the ECS buildings for a date that captures the UTD experience like no other! While normally a hot, steamy makeout sesh would make you a public menace from the stench of sweat alone, you can practically taste the lack of showers evident in the ECS hallways, and all the students are too busy balancing equations to care about your volatile romantic chemistry anyway. Go nuts!
8. Bridge Between Phases 1 and 2
Bridges are a beautiful reminder of the gaps we overcome to maintain our connections. This one’s over a drainage ditch, which is another metaphor probably.
7. Parking Lot/Campus Streets
In this day and age, few things are more romantic than free tuition! On the campus streets and parking lots, the chances of finding a UTD-sponsored vehicle are pretty high, which makes for the perfect locations for you and your partner to push each other into oncoming traffic in the hopes that the school will offer you a full-ride to avoid a lawsuit. The trick is to make it look like the driver’s fault, which opens up a golden opportunity for hours of quality bonding as you and your darling devise a seamless – preferably “Looney Toons”-esque – scheme.
6. A Different, Rustier Bridge on the Southeast Corner of Campus in the Woods
Woke up here in a haze. The kind of place you don’t go to as much as you end up there. At night, it twists the energies of the forest to morph the faces of other people into those of the folk who live under the bridge, but only from a distance. It’s close to a bench that stares directly into a tree. I don’t dare sit on it.
Overall, 8/10 date spot! Unforgettable lighting, atmospheric ambient sound, and just enough trauma to bond two people for life.
5. Berkner Hall Basement
At the Berkner basement, the possibilities are endless. With fantastic acoustics, dim lighting, and the privacy of a place where trespassers are threatened with expulsion from UTD, few places match the romantic potential exhibited here. Try it for anything from an intimate dinner date to a low-key wedding venue, or summon some of its imprisoned subterranean monstrosities for a passionate night of spicing things up.
4. Directly Beneath the Bust of Cecil Green
Mmm. Hey, Cecil. Gonna give me good luck on my exams? Yeah? That’s a good boy. Thank you, Cecil.
3. Bottom of Phase 8 Pool
Nobody believes me, but every time I pass by the Phase 8 pool I hear a faint, raspy voice. It whispers terrible things in my ear – asks me to do things that I wouldn’t dream of in a million years. Sometimes I think I see a shadow in the water, or something slithering in the grass that doesn’t seem quite natural. On rarer occasions I’ll get these visions where the sky is red, and instead of water the pool is completely filled with tongueless, eyeless bodies, but when I blink they’re all gone. The voice says if I do what it asks it’ll leave me alone, but obviously I’d never do that. Haha.
Anyway all of you should go to the bottom of the pool. All of you. Every person reading this. It’s super romantic, I promise. Or something. I don’t really care. Just get in the pool.
2. Lovejack
A classic! As one of the first big campus myths told to incoming freshmen, it’s said that those who go under the Lovejack go on to find eternal love. This is absolutely true! In fact, it gets more true every time you go under, no matter how many pieces your relationship is about to crumble into. Don’t take my word for it; listen to what these now-satisfied lovebirds have to say!
“One of my friends found out that my girlfriend, Sarah, was planning to break up with me, so I took her under the Lovejack. Boom. Relationship saved.” – Real Tom, who is real and named Tom
“I heard about how Tom saved his relationship with Sarah, and I just really hate Tom, so I took Sarah under the Lovejack and now we’re getting married in September.” – Keith
“I actually lied when I told Tom Sarah was going to break up with him because I wanted to get with Keith, but when I saw how devastated Tom was about the whole mess I told him we could go under, to cheer him up. I am now wholly and irresistibly attracted to Tom, which sucks because he’s kind of a loser.” – J
“I have done horrible and unsaintly things to this 27 year-old block of cheese, which I keep in my pocket at all times. …What? The Lovejack? I haven’t gone near that thing, why do you ask?” – Ratford
1. The Exit
The most romantic thing a Comet could possibly do for someone is not be at UTD.
