Should I drop out?

It depends on what you’re referring to. Dropping out of college? I probably wouldn’t recommend it. Dropping out of my personal Stuart Little 2-esque biplane? For the love of God, why else did you book this skydiving trip with me? I have other appointments to get to, you know.

Do you have any hobbies?

I’ve been hitting up the rec center quite a bit recently! I’m already starting to feel healthier after all this exercise — you could call me a real gym rat.

What should I get my mom for mothers day?

Does Temoc have toes?

From what I’ve overheard crawling around the air ducts of BSB, apparently only the ones grown after 2013 do.

I think my professor is ignoring me in class, what should I do?

Commission yourself a rat fursuit and wear it to lectures as much as possible — it works for me! Granted, I kinda have the suit built into my body and the kind of attention I get from classes I sit in on is more along the lines of people screaming “OH GOD IS THAT A RAT?” and “SOMEONE CALL AN EXTERMINATOR!” but it’s better than nothing!

Any advice for graduating seniors?

Yes. My current going rate is one wheel of Babybel® Original Cheese or two wheels of Babybel® Light Cheese per piece of advice. These prices are negotiable, but I know what I’m worth.

Commuting to school is such a pain, but there’s no available housing. What should I do?

I’m currently digging a large hole in the lawn outside JSOM — you’re welcome to join me as long as you pitch in! Bonus points if you bring a shovel. I could really use a shovel.

How do I finish an assignment if it’s due tonight? (Time sensitive.)

Ooh! I’ve been working on a solution to this one for the past few years — it’s an AI tool that you can plug your homework problems into and get automatically-generated solutions. I like to call it: RatGPT.

Tobor is looking real snatchable lately, should I steal one?

I wouldn’t recommend it. Rest assured if I find out, I absolutely am going to rat you out to the campus police.

I have no money, but I want to hang out with my friends. What are some fun and affordable options?

Sit around in a circle at the plinth and try to come up with some rat puns that are more clever than the ones I’m using here. I could really use some help; the supply is running pretty dry.

What are some fun things to do around campus?

Scampering, scavenging, skulking, sneaking, and your mom.

How do I make it through the semester?

I can’t speak for other species, but I as a rat experience time in a forward direction and make it through pretty much all of my semesters naturally without much action on my part. Your results may vary, though.