Aries: How are your anger management classes coming?
Taurus: This is your season! Spring has sprung! It’s time to finally do the wardrobe overhaul you’ve been dreaming of. Just make sure to watch your budget while you’re surfing Depop.
Gemini: You’re not paying tuition for nothing. Take advantage of university resources while you still can! Remember, it’s not free — it’s prepaid.
Cancer: Please stop walking so close behind people in the Halal Shack line, I promise you’ll get your turn.
Leo: Maybe try walking on campus without your AirPods in at maximum volume. You could make new friends if you didn’t immediately put them in and run out the door when the professor ends class.
Virgo: You’re almost ready to accept yourself as you are. Take a deep breath. It’s okay to be a little cringe sometimes.
Libra: You’re in a toxic relationship… with fast food reward apps. Ask yourself: Is this a healthy relationship dynamic? Is a “free” bean burrito really worth spending 25 dollars on Taco Bell?
Scorpio: Spreading yourself too thin makes for an unsatisfying sandwich. If you want to really get something out of the PB&J of life, you’ve gotta limit your commitments.
Sagittarius: The time has finally come to stretch your wings and fly. Success is pretty much guaranteed at this point. Just don’t forget where you came from when you’re soaring through, above the sky bridges.
Capricorn: You’re honestly killing it. Keep doing what you’re doing.
Aquarius: Last month was a turning point for you, and now it’s time to start down your new path. It’s going to be hard, and there might be relapses, but we promise that deleting TikTok will be worth it in the long run.
Pisces: If you’re going to change your major just change it. Your friends are tired of hearing your “5-year plan.”